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lifetime achievement award

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1.
Enough 02:09
Expect different results and i'll come back for more Enough is all you ever wanted You say you're a nihilist but expect all of life's confections Enough is all you ever get
2.
Fetch 01:58
Between the painted over brick and my destroyed fingertips i let my eyes loose focus i start to see the ugly symmetry that happens when the world shares such similarities is there air stuck in my bones? or is my brain just loosing shape it's all the same when the gears they start to slow well then you know to wind them back to yesterday simple stupid wasted yesterday Watch the dog drag a log will they ever get it home? well i don't know and they don't care it's much bigger than the log it's not a dream it's not a goal it's just an act it's a tick it's a purpose just something to pass the time
3.
watched you for a lifetime or a timelapse of one unfolding oh how i wish i could keep it all wrapped up into a moment but the gears keep moving and turning how life can be so unkind and like life i too can be so unkind how lucky it is to decide! so i go fishing for something an identity to suss out the things that feel bigger than me till i decided to be the biggest thing that's not a big deal to anybody else but me
4.
Soft Brain 02:21
the question pervasively got into my head with our claws, our skeletons soft bodies over dressed too stoned to make a move to move too quickly to understand my soft brain all those chemicals how could any one body contend when i was in my reverie spoke with brevity i said "I got too caught up in something"
5.
I'm in in need of assistance in the self help section of a barnes & noble looking for that new book everyone keeps talking about and of course everyone like to get things done but you wont finish anything dodging all those tricky conversations do you ever picture Mr.Rogers having a bad day? I can't think about it without wanting to cry and crying is okay it took me a long time to figure that one out Pin the tail on me this morning i woke up from a horrible dream where i was that box in a Uhaul that follows you from house to house ratty and worn out filled with nick nacks and your high school yearbooks oh here's that weird project you were so worked up about six years ago could you ever bring yourself to toss me out? would abandoning all those little pieces make way for different little pieces all the same? does it make you any less you? i sure hope not but how could i possibly begin to understand
6.
i have to be completely separate from everything my body has its own autonomy seperate from my thinking I don't have to be anything my body has its own autonomy separate from my thinking ain't that something I don't have to be anything this is not a love song for anyone except for myself I want to be my own friend!
7.
i want to talk to you i can talk to you but i won't talk to you how can i explain? does that make sense?
8.
common baby you made me ugly let's go to the pool don't need a ladder or refrigerator we've got rosebud we've got rosebud forever
9.
it's hard enough to recover or rediscover what it is or what it was that turned lovers on their heads but then again it's all about how you talk it out that or if you scream and shout but that's no way to live can we offer that simple comfort? to have eachothers back it's so important but don't lose track of the top and sides or any other places in danger to the evil just outside and at night we'll wave our fingers at the dark and frightful sky with them all the thoughts that evil likes to the places they escape inside our minds that's alright cause thoughts aren't real even if they're breathing, seething at the core of who we are no they aren't real! it's up to us to make them real take a look again at both your hands see how they're so capable and magnificent! take a look at what you have you're so capable and magnificent!
10.
Enough is enough you let him in he's counting all of those places and people you've been ignoring kept tabs on all those stupid fights you had in your head as if it was some game to loose or win you're at home you picked up the phone to a voice it's one that's from a different time saying things they sound so nice no prying no tortured advice it was just fine the statues that you built look like shit and you know it it all happened so quick it came down now what could you build to replace them?

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written and recorded by Jay Joslyn 2019-2020

Thanks to Shannon for singing on "Pin the Tail on Me"!

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released November 13, 2020

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lifetime achievement award Milwaukee, Wisconsin

home recording project by Jay

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