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year of the smudge

by lifetime achievement award

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1.
handshake 01:52
got a few things sorted out might as well have shaken your hand when i walked out couldn't say what it is i had in my head i could've asked you what you wanted most out of life would you have rattled off some pleasantries? a few things that sounded nice oh god, i've been awake for so long! i couldn't shake your hand if i wanted to. that's alright, that's probably fine
2.
with your struggling inner monolog out came the conclusions that you thought took way too long despite better judgement you're spilling your guts blaming celestial bodies in my living room late with no one left to blame that's just the risk that we take to take back control of my life i cut off all of my hair and to no surprise, Lazarus reared his ugly head i am reborn again everyone here sleeps in someone else's bed last night i slept in mine after she made it and without warning i'm elated fundamentally uncharacteristic
3.
fashion week 02:11
we’re only human we want our clothing complimented we can't stand to live through anything too complicated in my new shoes walked all the way to weil and keefe my ankles frozen from the breeze we said out loud “i like the way you're making me feel” the sidewalk you’re set on is unending not every feeling is worth sharing transparency is nice and all but secrets keep things oh so interesting we’re only human we want our feelings validated and it’s not good enough just to say it when sometimes a clean break is better than a fracture but you bit into the apple now you feel a worm moving in your mouth it’s very much alive you take for granted all the good things that you had but it’s better than it’s ever been you gave it your best shot and i hear that’s what counts
4.
staring into a plate of paneer i'm considering all my transgressions kept doing ordinary things regardless of the circumstances i'll resolve to be less passive aggressive but i gave into the pressure because i'm no more my grandpa than a cartoon cat who loves lasagna i'm no more a series of molecules that the cosmic dice rolled i'm no more a line of ants that are eating candy i am staring at the precipice at the end of everything i'm thinking how exciting to be a witness, a participant with all my stupid plans playing along to a game i only sort of understand it's the year of the smudge
5.
walking is a young mans game so i don’t do it the technology just isn’t there yet to improve it but i then i walked in on the good times now they pursue me now i’m smoking swisher sweets under the pleiades if everything that’s ever gonna happen has happened and is constantly happening how sweet it is to have existed when you did and to save face face i paced the entire house didn’t want to seem too bothered didn’t want to seem like i cared i don’t deserve this attention

about

demo material recorded January-Febuary 0f 2017

credits

released February 23, 2017

thanks Audrey Lewis

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lifetime achievement award Milwaukee, Wisconsin

home recording project by Jay

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