year of the smudge

by lifetime achievement award

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demo material recorded January-Febuary 0f 2017


released February 23, 2017

thanks Audrey Lewis



all rights reserved


lifetime achievement award Milwaukee, Wisconsin

in light of the inauguration of president Donald Trump, you can pay what you want for “today hard, tomorrow hard” and all proceeds will be donated to the ACLU (

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Track Name: handshake
got a few things sorted out
might as well have shaken your hand when i walked out
couldn't say what it is i had in my head

i could've asked you what you wanted most out of life
would you have rattled off some pleasantries?
a few things that sounded nice
oh god, i've been awake for so long!
i couldn't shake your hand if i wanted to.
that's alright, that's probably fine
Track Name: lazarus of the 3 blade
with your struggling inner monolog
out came the conclusions
that you thought took way too long
despite better judgement
you're spilling your guts
blaming celestial bodies
in my living room late with no one left to blame
that's just the risk that we take

to take back control of my life i cut off all of my hair
and to no surprise, Lazarus reared his ugly head
i am reborn again

everyone here sleeps in someone else's bed
last night i slept in mine after she made it
and without warning i'm elated
fundamentally uncharacteristic
Track Name: fashion week
we’re only human
we want our clothing complimented
we can't stand to live through
anything too complicated

in my new shoes
walked all the way to weil and keefe
my ankles frozen from the breeze
we said out loud “i like the way you're making me feel”

the sidewalk you’re set on is unending
not every feeling is worth sharing
transparency is nice and all
but secrets keep things
oh so interesting

we’re only human
we want our feelings validated
and it’s not good enough just to say it

when sometimes a clean break
is better than a fracture
but you bit into the apple
now you feel a worm
moving in your mouth
it’s very much alive
you take for granted
all the good things that you had
but it’s better than it’s ever been
you gave it your best shot
and i hear that’s what counts
Track Name: year of the smudge
staring into a plate of paneer
i'm considering all my transgressions
kept doing ordinary things
regardless of the circumstances
i'll resolve to be less passive aggressive
but i gave into the pressure

because i'm no more
my grandpa than a cartoon cat who loves lasagna
i'm no more a series of molecules that the cosmic dice rolled
i'm no more a line of ants that are eating candy
i am staring at the precipice
at the end of everything
i'm thinking how exciting
to be a witness, a participant

with all my stupid plans
playing along to a game
i only sort of understand
it's the year of the smudge
Track Name: swisher sweets
walking is a young mans game so i don’t do it
the technology just isn’t there yet to improve it
but i then i walked in on the good times
now they pursue me
now i’m smoking swisher sweets under the pleiades

if everything that’s ever gonna happen
has happened and is constantly happening
how sweet it is to have existed when you did

and to save face face i paced the entire house
didn’t want to seem too bothered
didn’t want to seem like i cared
i don’t deserve this attention