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reprise of the hard times

by lifetime achievement award

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1.
do you tend to be nervous at all cost? would you want to panic in public restrooms? (of course not) Cringe at the thought of acting socially it’s hard not think about all of your friends successes and want one of them despite being happy for their well being stay inside ponyboy and regret nothing ever again sing a song write 24 more you’re a tongue tied eyesore of a functioning human
2.
with flossing i’ve come to expect an amount of blood in my spit something to do with how often you do it just like when i go out i wish i hadn't i see a friend across the bar but they pretend that they didn’t see me lately parties suck going out is rough and i get cozy so early lately is it avoidable?
3.
slow dog 02:14
i’m not the amateur i was but i pretend i’m better than i am i do all the talking with my hands the final humiliation heard a podcast about the BPM and the speed people walk in any given city makes me wonder why everybody's moving quickly no, no it can’t be no, no it’s not me
4.
5 12 times 01:46
sincere and advantageous i’m working on myself lately measuring my worth In paychecks again let me tell ya something while you’re looking at the hourglass hoping you can flip it over just so you can start again but you’re denying yourself by daydreaming and pretending you’re saying music is a garbage pursuit but you do it anyways but you do it anyways you don’t hang out you just complain you never read you just complain so now you got your brand new library card and the pin is the number five twelve times i looked at the itinerary, i don’t want to go anymore i wanted a car but i’m working at my student loans people say i need to put myself out there, but i won’t
5.
thorn 02:22
we find circumstantial humor so astounding but the volume and values that you challenge are staggering it’s like you brushed your teeth then drank O.J set yourself up for defeat then complain anyways now you’re doubting that memories have teeth and barbs and poke-y things that sink deep while ignoring the words that you say hunt you down and suck out your creativity isn’t that something?
6.
Ivan Ooze goes back to school to get his bachelors degree in clinical psychology but if his parents knew what he’d rather do: spend 6,000 years in a cocoon just to figure it out go outside come back in go back to bed "don’t call it a comeback" cause you might as well have never left might as well have never left dad comes in with his “do or die" do or die ivan, just get a job mom says sweetie “everything will be fine if you try" take your time but you have to leave
7.
diet spite 02:23
my dad’s concerned if i’m making money when the means and form would be a better hobby i touched my reflection and felt how strange and flat my hand is behind the glass say something good about what seemed so important at the time now it’s burned your mouth you kept it to yourself for so long thats fine if that’s what you want No fruits of my labor no pulp left over its hard to feel bad when you didn't front the effort
8.
wrinkle 01:59
is it really that fun? so shamelessly committed to feeling like you fit in a facet in the problem but isn’t it just so nice to be home sometimes am i as small as i feel? when i make believe interesting things about me come on tell it to me straight i’m boring! i’m so boring these days "honestly you cut back on fun things”
9.
we’ve got mice again they’re in the ceiling shitting on everything picking snacks off the traps the landlord suggested chemical warfare which is kinda fucked up if you ask me but we've got mice again ominous but an honest attempt at conversation i’m a crutch for a lead pipe whose had a few too many to drink so you ram the sharpened piece of amethyst into your forehead vaporize the representations you find most displeasing instead of talking bout your feelings we've got mice again
10.
It's getting easier to worry about my short term memory. its hard to believe that despite every day feeling increasingly the same you cling to the things that keep them interesting but i’m clocked out on the bad times reading pretty good advice an editorial on how to smile through it but then it sinks in in 4D from behind and in front of me its all already happened and always happening when the progress bar is buffering talking about the hard times waking up is never as nice as in commercials for coffee you gotta own what it is you’re feeling i take things so slowly understandably but inevitably something unexpected comes undone

about

thank you Jake Beyer, Jenna Pepitone, and Lane Gage

recorded & produced at Wolf St. Studios

lifetime achievement award is:
Jay Joslyn
Alex Shah
Grant Postier

credits

released September 22, 2017

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lifetime achievement award Milwaukee, Wisconsin

home recording project by Jay

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