1. |
in person
00:56
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there’s no wiki-how to navigate
to keep my voice from shaking
to bring me back down
while “In Person” by Vince Guaraldi plays
cascading over blue lights
as i’m holding on to your face
for the last time
and that’s hard as hell
ain’t it miserable?
with nothing new to say
i must be unbearable
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2. |
bruised fruit (lost dog)
03:02
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Meg saw a lost dog
then back tracked just to meet them
but they were gone, and owned by no one
isn’t it insane, to think that life is defined
by the events that happen between sleeping
it’s holding a match, as long as there’s a flame
getting closer to the tips of your fingers
it’s so easy to let yourself feel bad
but i think i’m finally getting over that
the broken fragile ugly hearts
the bruised fruit nobody wanted
to just be still, if that’s what you’re feeling
is embarrassing
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3. |
human therapy
04:00
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sometimes i feel like papyrus font
with words misspelled and caps lock on
telling my jokes i know they never stick
unless i tell them to my friends
how i would love to be close to them
but my birth chart only permits
that i keep my distance away from them
oh there i go
talking up actual change
when i can’t
seem to let go
of the imaginary things controlling me
“ill get back to ya” (maybe in a few weeks)
it has very little to do with me
the despicable INFP
never entirely sure what the T means
i clean my room
let myself go
i can’t keep up with my money
or my laundry, and i find it kinda funny
it’s all just human therapy
to help you cope with existing
oh there i go
i’m talking up the beautiful things
i only conceptualize
to rationalize my fears of letting go
a caricature cradling my birthstone by a hearth burning
my ideas of self worth, maybe i’ll see you out when i get it together
but i keep blaming the weather and things i can’t control
control
what is control?
i can’t stand it
i’m wasting away, at not even 30
what happens after 30?
what can i blame when i’m 30?
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4. |
spade / hatchet
03:03
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hack up
the spade
then try to bury
the hatchet
giving in all the time
what an awful stasis
no room for excuses
you say you want a change
but the figure’s rarely
moving on good days
its cold winter ivory grip
closing in
and taking inventory
of all the awful things you’re feeling
then it laminates your lamentations
just because
just to rub it in your face
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5. |
cold sick
02:37
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the stagnant cold rut
feeling much less like myself
visiting thoughts i thought expired
no they very much have a shelf life
they’re soft and ripe inside
just reach out and take a bite
maybe i quit too quick.
you can’t have it your way
if you’re a pacifist
but can my teeth unclench?
too busy digging into my fist
you take direction
you’re so accommodating
you’re just no good
when it comes to decision making
you take a step outside
you’re feeling alright
for the first time in what seems like
such a long time
but will i ever do something interesting?
(for the people i feel are worth impressing)
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6. |
make sense
01:10
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in the case against prosperity
I’ve found a way to feel bad about everything
you can see me squirming in place
in the exchange of words
that’s all that it takes to make me wanna faint
“oh don’t you want to get better?
do you feel weird? is that weird?
oh so weird! you must feel so weird all the time!”
can you teach me to keep my cool?
i can’t stand to seem to wanna get better
once in a while i can kid myself
that everything is fine,
i perceived common decency as under attack
can you make it make sense?
i just wanted it all to make sense!
does that make sense?
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lifetime achievement award Milwaukee, Wisconsin
home recording project by Jay
lifetime achievement award recommends:
front to back just so dang good
go to album
milwaukee frans with a lot of gooood ideas
go to album
thoughtful! interesting! creative!
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perfect forever
by sean thornton
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